These Few Days...

Today is Friday, whew..TGIF, and TGI THIS Friday particularly. I've never been more thankful than today I guess, for THIS Friday I learned to understand so much about myself and my worst behaviour. I was so stressed out from last week...having to finish two proposals and coming out with training materials on three subjects; my commitment nearly drove me to the edge *sigh*

I've felt the fears, the exhaustion and the stress building up, but secretly I hope that everything will work out well and that I have the determination and stamina to deliver and deliver. I didn't get much sleep and enough rest. I could only shut my eyes AFTER 2-AM for dream-filled sleeps that awoke me every 2 hours, and then to get up as early as 6.30 AM, driving straight to Putrajaya for the training.

And finally on May 24, I just can't take it anymore when I nearly pengsan of fatigue at the office *tak tau berapa kali lagi nak jadi lepas ni, tapi tak serik2 jugak!* I called my boss and explained between sobs that I can't deliver my training on Friday *which is TODAY* 'coz I was SO VERY tired (God help me) and am afraid that something BAD might happen if I keep on "heating my engine". Surprisingly, my boss understood my situation and said that I better have a rest and postponed the training! (thank you!)

I've kerah so many people to assist me with my works these few days, and I know that I've done injustice to them. I've scolded, cursed and throw scathing remarks to my colleagues which I deeply regret of doing it. To Ravi, Gjie and Mahathir...if I ever hurt you guys with my tongue-lashing, please please forgive me. I HATE myself most when I'm doing that to you guys...Stress might kill me one day, but I hope that I won't let it kill other people too *sob sob* ;'( I'm sorry guys *hugs*

For those few people who I had a brief chat on YM, sorry for not being able to be there when you guys needed me. I've TRIED my best to reply, and I've replied as short and sweet as possible but that doesn't mean that I'm ANGRY with your slight intervention...How could my few words in YM can be interpreted as anger? As long as I remember, I've never throw any nasty words at you guys...Please don't simply judge me...You guys should know me better ;( *sedih* If I knew that my few replies might hurt your feelings, I would rather NOT reply at all...*sob*

p/s: payahnya mencuba utk menjadi seorang pekerja yg baik dan sahabat yang sempurna...