Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I'm So H-A-P-P-Y!

I'm so hyper-happy! (^_^)V *beaming and showing peace sign* Two things get me all work up today. One is from the picture above. Thank you Coldplay for the free single! Luckily I stumbled upon a news in BBC Entertainment yesterday stating that Coldplay is giving out their new single "Violet Hill" to listeners on April 30, 2008 (that's today). Big YEAY! :D I've been looking forward for their upcoming album, "Viva La Vida" or "Death and All His Friends", which claims to be the most experimental due to its Hispanic influences. I love "Violet Hill" after first hearing, although I can't comment much on the Hispanic influences (since I don't hear any). Maybe you guys think otherwise, but in my opinion, "Violet Hills" tune is a little pop-ish, with groovy bass lines which strike my fancy.

The second thing drives me even delirious with joy! I'm going back to my hometown in Teluk Intan right after work with Si Dia. We already applied for leave on Friday and we are planning to go to Pulau Pangkor for a big family picnic!! Yeayyyyy!!!!! \(^_^)/. Can't wait!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

And Sleep. Just Sleep.

14 STRAIGHT HOURS. Yes, for 14 straight hours, I slept yesterday. I reached home at about 4.30 PM from Sentul, and almost crazy with my raging thoughts, I decided to sleep. Sleep and sleep and sleep to drive away those whirlwind muddleness (is there such word?). OK, whateva. The point is, I slept for 14 hours. I'd tried my best to wake up, but I couldn't. I'd tried to raise my head, but my head was still much attached to the pillow. And during those 14 hours, I dreamt.....

I was at sea. Lost and nearly drowned. If not for a piece of wood that I held dearly to my chest, I would surely be lost at sea. Lost at sea...there's a song by Eisley called "Lost At Sea". With chattering teeth, I sang the song. No sharks, thank god no sharks. From afar I saw a ship. Looks more like a swashbuckling pirate ship to me, but nevertheless..."Hey!!! Sini! Sini! Here! Here!". My shouts might be carried by the wind, because all of a sudden, the ship was steering towards me. The first thing that I clearly saw is the figurehead. Oh! Such beautiful figurehead! It's of a lovely maiden, with big bosom and small waist that holds folds and folds of flowing skirts. Her long golden hair falls like fountain on her shoulders, and a gorgeous anadem sits like a crown on her head. And she was smiling at me! Smiling as if she was alive!

But wait...why is she carrying a big pencil? This doesn't fit in. It spoiled my dream! And with a big thud, she sort of jousted me to land on an island. Wow. That's hurt :| ....I dusted off the sand from my wet jeans. But look! It's not sand, it's GOLD! But where does this gold came from? And as I looked around, I realized that the only mountain on the island is actually a big statue of Medusa. A gold-vomiting Medusa to be exact. With real snakes on her head, she gave me the shivers and left me immobilized with her stare.

As she moves slowly towards me (just like a panther), her eyes turned into blazing fire. Oh god dear god! Help me! Wake up Mahzura! Wake up you sleepyhead! She vomited on me. That wretched Medusa poured gold sand on my head. And she just wouldn't stop, until the sand choked me, choked me and choked me. I felt air seeping out of my lungs, god it HURTS! Why don't you wake up Mahzura????......And slowly.....there was no sound, no colors, nothing.

I woke up gasping for air and sweating profusely. I even coughed until tears flowed on my cheeks...That's it! NO MORE! No more long sleep after this!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Rain Down, Rain Down

It's been a while since I last wrote a post in English. Don't know why, I just want to write something in English today. Mind my grammar and sentence structure my friend, for I am very bad with them. Never mind that. I just want to write and of what, I'm still not sure. Have any of you come across an urge just to scribble and doodle, and alas, a message of some sort for you to interpret splayed out on the paper? The subconscious mind speak for itself. I don't have it anymore. Sometimes I wonder, where did my subconscious mind go. Like the words that I type now, it's all well plan, but still it doesn't make much sense.

The world outside is black with its dark clouds and human sorrow, while I'm sitting cosily on this chair and typing all this rubbish. At this moment, I asked myself, why do human suffer? How can we let that painful punch-in-a-gut-like sick feeling we called 'sadness' drowned us, and at the same time endure and regard pain as pleasure? Ah, but then again, I'm not the one to discuss this. I am no more human as any of you. It'll be raining soon I guess (looking outside the window). Let's pray to god that this blessed rain will wash away any sadness on this face of the earth. If only it's that simple...

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Innalillahiwainnalillahiraji'un...

Hari ini sebuah berita pemergian disampaikan. 'Ibu Yusni Jaafar' telah selamat mengadap Illahi. Al-Fatihah dan ucapan takziah untuk keluarga besar 'Ibu Yusni'. Berita ini menjadi lebih terkesan disebabkan kesilapan Kak Ogy menampilkan Yusni Hamid sebagai Yusni Jaafar sewaktu siaran lansung Anugerah Bintang Popular Berita Harian baru-baru ini. Bagai diseru-seru pula. Dan tanpa lansung meminta maaf atas ralat yang terjadi, persembahan malam itu diteruskan. Tak professional lah kau ni Kak Ogy.

Apa-apa pun, post aku kali ini sebenarnya ingin berkisar tentang sebuah peristiwa pemergian yang lebih dekat...

Lebih kurang pukul 4 pagi pada 30 April 2008, aku dikejutkan dengan ketukan halus di pintu bilik. Pintu aku buka dan aku lihat Jaja, teman serumah aku, tercegat di muka pintu. "Ada apa Ja?" aku bertanya dengan suara serak bangun tidur. "Zu, mak Jue (juga teman serumah) baru meninggal" kata Jaja. Dan dalam keadaan separuh mamai dan terkejut aku berkata "La ila ha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntumminaz zalimin". YA, aku membaca doa Nabi Yunus yang mana sepatutnya pada waktu itu aku berkata "Innalillahiwainnalillahiraji'un". Maafkan aku Jue. Aku lansung tak menyedari kesilapan aku sehinggalah pada waktu aku meletakkan kembali kepala aku ke bantal. Dengan rasa kesal dan bersalah aku ulang sebut "Innalillahiwainnalillahiraji'un" sehingga aku tertidur .

Jue,

Al-Fatihah dan ucapan takziah untuk kau dan seluruh keluarga atas pemergian ibu pada pagi itu. Aku doakan semoga roh Allahyarhamah dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Aku harap kau bersabar dengan dugaan Allah, walaupun aku tahu kata-kata ini lebih mudah dituturkan berbanding hari-hari yang akan kau tempuhi selepas ini. Bagi seseorang yang tak pernah mengalami sebuah 'kehilangan', aku rasa aku tidak mampu dan tidak layak memberikan kata-kata semangat dan peransang untuk kau. Tapi apa-apa pun aku tahu kau OK. Sebab kau ada satu sikap yang turun dari arwah ibu kau.

Kau CEKAL.


Al-Fatihah...